When I Was a Child

1 Corinthians 13:11a - King James Version

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child

Childhood.  Passing days make it seems so distant.  Yet, memories keep it close.  Childhood. When I reflect on those days most of my memories are good ones.  I am also aware that there were some frightening times.  There were a lot of challenges my parents faced raising four children.  There were choices that had to be made sometimes that I did not understand.  Some of those choices still puzzle me.  However, the overriding theme during that time was love.  I always knew I was loved.  Because of that I also loved others, my parents, my brothers and my sister.  That love was loyal, it was fierce, it was unconditional, and it has withstood the test of time.   I cannot describe how thankful I am.  On days when I feel down the love of family has lifted me.  My mother and sister are gone on, but their love remains.  My father and brothers...I cannot say enough about what the love we share means.

When I was a child I would write letters, cards, poems and send them to my family.  I could never quite express verbally what I felt because I would get so emotional and could not get the words out.  Praise God I could write down my feelings.  I have gotten a little better articulating my feelings, but I still write them out.  I have always felt a deep connection to the written word.  Books.  My passion when I was a child was reading.  As I grew older, I would sometimes read three to four books at a time. Bookmarks held my place for the book in the living room, the title in the bedroom and the one in my car.

When I was a child, I made a lot of mistakes.  I had a very vivid imagination.  Some days it was hard to separate fact from fiction.  When I was a child, I often had dreams and visions that I kept to myself.  The visions could be unsettling. But eventually I learned to give my concerns to God.  When I was a child thoughts became prayer.  I always felt the presence of God.  I praise God that I still dream and have visions.  Still, I know that God is with me.

When I was a child bruises healed faster, summers seemed to last longer, and neighbors were close.  When I was a child, I thought of what I would do with my life when I grew up.  I made lists and I kept a diary.

Growing up, becoming "grown" has happened in phases. I remember my childhood in snippets, pages and chapters.  Growing up continues.  Every day I learn something new.  I realize that the newness is often just a different way of reflecting on lessons learned when I was a child.  Time.  Everything happens in time.

I cannot separate the child "me" from the now "me." They function in sync.  I praise God for allowing my days to continue.  I thank Him for allowing me backward glances to the past, for living in the present and that He has secured my future.

All of us, children once.  By grace, we live on as children of God.

Blessed be the ties that bind.

in Christ,

Sis. Stephanie